One STAPLE I’d Never Sacrifice for Cool and One TREND I’d like to Shame into Recession

The STAPLE:

God I love a good backpack. I don’t care if  I look like I’m headed to third period Chemistry class or if I get carded at the LCBO. I’ll haul it if I’m wearing high heels, track pants or fake hair. If I need to book it across the city on public transit and I got shits to haul, my backpack is coming with me. I plan on being upright when I’m 80, even if I have lines on my face from all those cigarettes I smoked PLUS I suffer for fashion in all sorts of other ways to justify the backpack. Sowwy. But I’m not the only one. If you see a woman all decked out with her hair did, wrapped up in Spanx with a full face AND a backpack at 11AM on a Tuesday, she’s likely an actor headed to a beer commercial audition to sacrifice a bit of her soul for the sake of ‘the dream’. HA. Bottom line…backpacks. Get into them.

The SHAMEFUL TREND:

Get these stupid sequin berets outta here. Please (as in bitch, please)
These idiotic, impractical chapeaus have been popping up all over the place. On 9-year-olds (acceptable), 19-year-olds (pushing it) and even 29-year-olds (come ON). I saw them in NYC and all over Toronto and they have to go. Now a lot of trends come along and most people can’t rock them but try to and ruin it for the rest of us (leopard, faux fur, drop-crotch pants, bright lipstick, most hats) but these were never acceptable, even in the 80s.


They provide no warmth and for those of us who have sequins in our wardrobes (don’t get me wrong, I love sequins, just not in beret form) we know they scratch a bit. How sexy is it to have a big red line across your forehead when you get to your destination because heaven knows these things are not for the indoors. I beg of you to let them not be. They just look STUPID. Period.

There are a lot of trends. A lot of good ones. Can we fuck right off on this one now?

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